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I am a writer . . . Is that really my belief?

I have had the aspiration to produce a regular long form blog for some time but Thought Pieces has remained stuck in my head, as a draft. So, where better place for the journey to really begin than by exploring this belief: I am a writer... am I?


I have wished it to be true. I woken up early and sat there with a blank piece of paper. I have read every blog under the sun about the subject. Yet something has been holding me back: on some level, I did not believe it.


Beliefs.

When it came to starting this, my gut reaction was that I didn’t believe I was able to be a writer, or blogger, because I’ve never been one in the past. That is some twisted logic of the subconscious mind at play! Let’s explore further…


Whilst at school, I did quite well in English. But end of year results are not evidence of natural ability, talent or passion for a subject. My perception of my teenage years is that I was more drawn towards maths and science. By taking this perspective, it resulted in me believing that writing doesn’t come naturally to me. Interesting!


So I carry the belief that I’m not a naturally talented writer (which may or may not be true, but that doesn’t matter at this point!) due to a preference for another subject at age 15. Now consider the alternatives to natural talent – hard work. We believe that natural talent can go to waste just as hard work can make up the difference for innate ability.


Proving that there’s no actual reason I couldn’t be a writer is hardly a motivator for putting pen to paper. What about if neither of these beliefs were serving me? Instead, what if I could be a writer without needing either natural talent or feeling the need to work hard? That is a far more appealing prospect and a truth I’m willing to live. But if it’s that easy, then why haven’t I done this before?


Benefits.

It’s an uncomfortable answer, but the answer is comfort. The benefits I get from these limiting beliefs are that I can’t be judged if I don’t commit my thoughts to paper, I won’t be seen if I remain a purely private individual and I can’t be a failed writer. Simply put, there are too many benefits to not being a writer.


Changing my beliefs on a subconscious level allows me to see the flaws in these limiting beliefs. The fear of judgement is purely my ego protecting itself. I’m judged whether or not I write this blog! I could write this blog anomalously to avoid being seen, so concerns of visibility are a distraction easily remedied – my audience is currently zero anyway. You may find it surprising but success creates far more fear than failure. I mean, what will my 15 year old maths and science preferring self think of me if I dare become a successful writer!!


Uncovering the beliefs that are holding me back, I’m able to demonstrate to myself that I can have all the benefits without any of the apprehension or fear. I feel inspired. Clearing limiting beliefs fills me with positive emotions. I am lighter, like burden has been lifted. Except that believing I am a writer does not make me a writer, writing does. My new subconscious beliefs need backing up with conscious action.


Into action I leap with the first the first 341 words actually flowing quite well. The new found comfort doesn’t last as long as I had hoped though. Unless we change the bottom belief, newly formed subconscious beliefs can quickly crumble back to old familiar ways, regardless of how many benefits we reframe and reprogramme.


Samuel Valentine, the author, relaxing on a bench.
Samuel Valentine, Gentleman Healer

Lessons.

Having moved beyond any fear of natural ability being a limitation, cleared fear of success as being inner thought chatter and shown myself that it is safe to be seen, what is holding my action back? Meditating on the question and feeling connected with the universe around me bring forth an answer. Pride.


I am proud to take pride in the things I do. I get enjoyment and fulfilment when I do things I’m proud of. I always want to be proud of what I’m doing. These all feel fairly sensible and I don’t want to change these beliefs, so how are they limiting me? What lesson am I learning from these beliefs about pride?


I can learn this lesson and still be a writer by taking a new perspective. What if instead of having pride in the quality of this first Thought Piece, I could take pride in producing it and sharing it with the world in the first place? Game changing realisation.


My old belief was that I needed to do my 10,000 hours of practice in private before I could take pride in my work. My new belief is that there are another 9,996 hours of practice I can do with you in public (learning and growing all the while) whilst taking pride in whatever Thought Pieces I do produce.


The Test: Am I a writer?

Circling back around, I did not believe that "I am a writer". By exploring my past I was able to identify what limiting belief I held in my subconscious. Setting out the benefits allowed me to reprogramme myself and my own twisted logic. I could now have all of those benefits without needing the limited belief to get them. There were some other lessons that needed to be recognised which opened up the new perspectives I’ve been able to take.


I did not believe I was a writer, so no matter hard I tried, I couldn’t take the action. I’ve now done the subconscious belief work required to become a writer. All that was left to do was to write my first Thought Piece, and here is it.


My name is Sam, I am the writer of this Thought Piece and I hope you’ve enjoyed reading this as much as I did writing it.

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